Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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