shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
