Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish you could order shots online.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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