I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
