I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
