my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
