1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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