This is not my ceiling
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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