I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
