i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
