Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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