we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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