i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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