I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
