The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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