Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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