she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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