Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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