Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
