My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
