I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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