New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
