I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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