Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
