Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
