Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
