my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
