If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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