in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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