using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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