I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
