He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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