You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
