We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
