whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
