i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
