sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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