The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
