Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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