Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
