Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
