I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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