Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
