I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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