Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
