how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
