so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
