she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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