I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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