Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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